Ever have one of those weeks? Where everything hits at once and you feel overwhelmed and see no end in sight? I've had one of those weeks! I won't bore you with the details, but when I feel this way, I often put myself in a dream sequence in my head. This dream sequence more than often involves disco dancing. Disco dancing puts me in such a good mood!
I spent many long hours as a kid watching Saturday Night Fever over and over again mimicking John Travolta's moves. I know it's cheesy, but I love the music, the lighted dance floor and everything else about disco culture.
So, this weekend to put myself in a better mood, I am transporting myself back in time to Studio 54 to dance my blues away. Put on your platform heels and come join me!
Here is the dream sequence I am going to put myself in:
Aug 6, 2009
Aug 4, 2009
Tips on Going to the Bathroom in the Middle of the Night
Ok, so klutz story #2...
Flash forward several years post-college and I was a completely responsible, professional adult, right?
Well, nontheless, at least I wasn't going to screw up the best job I've ever had by drinking too much and doing something foolish. No, this time I did it totally sober!
I had to travel to a trade show in Dallas and I decided on my first night that I was not going to give in to the temptation to go out partying. Nope, I was going to stay in, watch a movie and rest up for my first big day at the show. And I did! That's when the trouble started. I woke up around 3:30 am having to pee. After I was finished, I flipped off the light. Big mistake!
You know that split second after you flip off the light that you can still see in the dark? Don't ask me what I was thinking, but I thought that in that millisecond of time, I could dash from the bathroom back to the bed while my path was still lit. Combine that flawed thinking with horrible night blindness and before I was halfway through my dash...BOOM! Next thing I knew I was laying on the floor on my back.
You know in cartoons how birds fly around your head after you've been hit? Yeah, it really happens. My first thought was that someone obviously popped out of the closet and hit me in the face with a baseball bat. But, I realized that I had actually just run nose-first into an outer corner of the wall. I finally came to my senses, crawled across the hall to the ice machine, and fell asleep with a rudimentary ice pack on my face made out of a washcloth.
When my alarm went off I slowly remembered what had happened and my head was aching worse than any hangover I ever had. I was petrified to look in the mirror to see the damage, but it wasn't as bad as I thought. Remember how Marsha Brady looked when she got hit in the face with a football? Yeah, that was me. My nose was huge, but at least no bruising.
I figured that since the people I was meeting with that day had never seen me before, then everything would be ok. They would just think I had a really big nose! No problem! I made it halfway through the day until one of the show exhibitors I was having a conversation with starting looking at me weird. "Ummm...I think you have some ink or something on your face." At first I was confused and then my hand flew up to my face realizing what was happening. The bruises were starting to show!
I rushed to the bathroom and confirmed bruises under each eye and on my chin. There wasn't enough makeup in the world to cover this up. The rest of the week I sucked it up, told my story and endured endless teasing.
Word had spread throughout the entire industry and at my next meeting with my Board of Directors they presented me with a catcher's helmet with face guard and autographed by all of them.
I was now a legend!
Flash forward several years post-college and I was a completely responsible, professional adult, right?
Well, nontheless, at least I wasn't going to screw up the best job I've ever had by drinking too much and doing something foolish. No, this time I did it totally sober!
I had to travel to a trade show in Dallas and I decided on my first night that I was not going to give in to the temptation to go out partying. Nope, I was going to stay in, watch a movie and rest up for my first big day at the show. And I did! That's when the trouble started. I woke up around 3:30 am having to pee. After I was finished, I flipped off the light. Big mistake!
You know that split second after you flip off the light that you can still see in the dark? Don't ask me what I was thinking, but I thought that in that millisecond of time, I could dash from the bathroom back to the bed while my path was still lit. Combine that flawed thinking with horrible night blindness and before I was halfway through my dash...BOOM! Next thing I knew I was laying on the floor on my back.
You know in cartoons how birds fly around your head after you've been hit? Yeah, it really happens. My first thought was that someone obviously popped out of the closet and hit me in the face with a baseball bat. But, I realized that I had actually just run nose-first into an outer corner of the wall. I finally came to my senses, crawled across the hall to the ice machine, and fell asleep with a rudimentary ice pack on my face made out of a washcloth.
When my alarm went off I slowly remembered what had happened and my head was aching worse than any hangover I ever had. I was petrified to look in the mirror to see the damage, but it wasn't as bad as I thought. Remember how Marsha Brady looked when she got hit in the face with a football? Yeah, that was me. My nose was huge, but at least no bruising.
I figured that since the people I was meeting with that day had never seen me before, then everything would be ok. They would just think I had a really big nose! No problem! I made it halfway through the day until one of the show exhibitors I was having a conversation with starting looking at me weird. "Ummm...I think you have some ink or something on your face." At first I was confused and then my hand flew up to my face realizing what was happening. The bruises were starting to show!
I rushed to the bathroom and confirmed bruises under each eye and on my chin. There wasn't enough makeup in the world to cover this up. The rest of the week I sucked it up, told my story and endured endless teasing.
Word had spread throughout the entire industry and at my next meeting with my Board of Directors they presented me with a catcher's helmet with face guard and autographed by all of them.
I was now a legend!
Going Down in Flames
On Friday I posted a "Choose Your Own Adventure" blog. I listed some stories about my life and you, the reader, decided what you wanted to hear. The outcome was a tie - so I have two klutzy Glamour Girl stories for you. I will post the second one later today.
The first story begins with me as a sorority girl over a decade ago, I mean...a couple of years ago of course! I had the elite title of Social Coordinator for my sorority. The great part about the job was that I got to plan all the parties. The not so great part was that I actually had to be in charge and act somewhat responsible at the parties.
Well, one party in particular was hosted by a fraternity on our campus and held at their house. The genius idea behind these parties was that the girls would start out upstairs going room to room playing different drinking games or taking different shots in each room. That is, until we weren't capable of actually playing the drinking games anymore and just all went downstairs to dance. At this particular party, there was a room that was serving Flaming Dr. Peppers. I was intrigued! After the first one, I was hooked! It consisted of a shot of amaretto topped with Bacardi 151. You then light the shot on fire, drop it into a glass of beer and chug*. If you've never had one, it DOES taste like Dr. Pepper. And everyone knows that yummy tasting drinks fool you into having WAY too many.
I think I had seven of them...hell...I don't remember...I could have had 20 or so. Next thing I knew the party was dwindling down and me being the responsible one wanted to make sure that everyone had a safe ride home. There were a couple of girls that I knew were still in the house, but I couldn't find them. I remember going upstairs and searching room to room and then the next thing I know, I was lying at the bottom of a long flight of wooden steps.
The next morning I woke up in my dorm room having no idea what happened or how I got there. I just knew that I had to get up and pee. As soon as I stepped foot out of bed, I immediately screamed and pulled my foot back up. Wow! What the hell did I do to my foot? I panicked! I could tell it was definitely broken. I woke up my roommate. She really didn't have any more answers than I did, but we rushed to the hospital and next thing I knew I was on crutches for six weeks trying to hobble around campus with a broken foot.
The pieces of the puzzle of that night did slowly come back to me little by little. Yes, I did fall down the stairs...yes, I laid there until someone found me and carried me back to my dorm (embarassing!!!)
Yes, I then used myself as an example in a speech to the whole sorority at our next meeting about how drinking too much can lead to bad things and that is why they should always rely on yours truly to safely send them home before things get out of hand. Yes, I'm SURE they all respected and looked up to me to keep them safe after that.
Job well done!
* Caution: DO NOT try this at home! Or, if you do, just don't blame me!
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