May 31, 2009

Sexy Single or Mindless Mommy?

In the words of the great Britney Spears,

"There's only two types of people in the world.
The ones that entertain and ones that observe."

There are two types of young women in the suburbs - Sexy Single and Mindless Mommy.

You can spot the Sexy Single easily. Look for the gaggle of girls who seem as if they are trying to out-tan, out-blond and out-drink each other. You can usually find them on Friday or Saturday nights, fruity cocktail in hand, waiting for the magical moment that their Prince Charming will waltz through the door of the over-crowded, pretentious night club and whisk their drunk ass away into the domestic bliss of being a Mindless Mommy.

Yes, the Mindless Mommy may seem like an appealing lifestyle at first. They've trapped a man, had the $100,000 wedding of their dreams and now plan to feign interest in their career while secretly just biding the time until they get pregnant.

They are now living the American Dream! Everything will be perfect. The Mindless Mommy chooses to stay at home for the kids, trade in the car for something more practical and settles into domestic life. But wait - the Mindless Mommy soon realizes that this lifestyle is not exactly what they had signed up for. They slowly start to lose their mind, becoming absorbed in raising their kids and hanging out in Mommy groups with other Mindless Mommies who seem to have nothing more interesting to talk about than teething and poopy diapers.

Which leaves me, your fearless Glamour Girl, hanging out in left field somewhere. Don't get me wrong, not every single woman falls into one of these categories. I sure don't! And I have been fortunate to find some friends who don't either.


Anonymous said...

Holy SHIT. Where did you come from? And where have you been all my life?


Glamour Girl said...

I've been holding back, wondering if my life and my thoughts were interesting enough to blog about ;)

Laura said...

I wonder, what are the 'mindless mommies' REALLY like. I assume all of the mindless babble and conformity is a front hiding some deeply interesting psychosis.
I often pass the time in these conversations imagining what they are REALLY thinking and saying behind closed doors.